Anxious to Leave

I’ll be leaving on my trip in a few short weeks.

In 1969, NBC previewed “Then Came Bronson”, a show starring Michael Parks as Jim Bronson, a disillusioned newspaperman who, after deciding to no longer "work for the man", quit his job to tour the country on a Harley. The show started with Bronson riding up to a red light and stopping next to a guy in a station wagon. The guy in the station wagon was wearing a fedora with a suit and tie. The tie was pulled down and the guy was rubbing his hand over his face, seemingly trying to massage away a harried expression likely brought on by a job he didn’t like and a mortgage that made him keep working. He glanced over at Bronson and asked, "Taking a trip?"

Bronson looked over: "What's that?"
Driver: "Taking a trip?"
Bronson: "Yeah."
Driver: "Where to?"
Bronson: "Oh, I don't know. Wherever I end up, I guess."
Driver: "Pal, I wish I was you."
Bronson: "Really?"
Driver: "Yeah."
Bronson: "Well, hang in there."

Forty years later, I'm Bronson, and I’m taking that trip.

Bronson’s show was an adventure a week where he found solutions to people’s problems while he was out riding around the country. Bronson was probably an archetype for Kwai Chang Caine and he, too, had an adventure a week – except where Bronson was on a bike, the Shaolin Master walked around barefoot. Those shows came out within a few years of each other. I think the pattern was drawn with Easy Rider, though. Captain America and Billy had an adventure a minute, and you kind of get the idea where this is headed.

Before we go any further - yeah, I know they’re fictional characters. But, it’s a guy thing to daydream and think that you can do the same things the guys on the screen are doing. Even when everything is fictional.

OK. Got the visual?

• Bronson, hunched over that Sportster, wearing a black watch cap pulled low over his forehead, almost touching his Raybans, meeting people, fixing their problems, and looking for the meaning of life.

• Kwai Chang Caine walking around with his bamboo flute and maybe occasionally launching into a little Dragon-style kung fu action (or maybe some Praying Mantis, Snake, or Eagle Claw – it depended on who and how many he needed to “take to school”) and he, too, was working on the meaning of life question.

• Wyatt and Billy in Easy Rider, “looking for America, but couldn’t find it anywhere”. More meaning of life stuff.

And then there’s me. You’re thinking “mid-life crisis”. No question. I know you are.

And you’re almost right.

But, my focus is a little different. Sure, I’ll help with problems if I encounter people who are looking for an assist. Then there’s self-examination, the meaning of life, social responsibility, justice, freedom. All that stuff.

But, I’m way too self-absorbed to dedicate my trip to that. Everyone knows that.

Instead, I’m going to be eating my way across America. I’m looking for the best groceries on the backroads of America that only the locals know about.

And maybe, just maybe, have an adventure along the way. But only if it doesn’t get in the way of the consumables. Sho’ You Right!